There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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