I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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