She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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