Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
