i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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