grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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