She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
