she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
