That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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