i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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