So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
