Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize