we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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