Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dick very happy bro
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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