Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
