good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
