Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
