About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
