Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
