Apparently you make a good broom.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize