When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
