ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
