I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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