wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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