I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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