dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
