I want to have your abortion
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I want her autograph on my taint
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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