i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My bed smells like the plague
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
