So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
