someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
