I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
