Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Say something about gay babies.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
