i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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