i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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