Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
