your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
