koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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