youre lurking in front of me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
