i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
