Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
