i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
