I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
