please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
