Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
