I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
bring money and cleavage
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
