Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
