Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize