Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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