Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
