Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
