4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
