Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
