Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
