Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
