he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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