i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
