Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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