i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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