You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
