3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
