I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize