She said her name was "party"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
